A Funny Story, or: When you know you've got it right

I had a funny thing happen to me the other day. My friend, Brandon, makes films. Silly, silly films. His latest is the third installment in his "Random" series of prank films, Random Thrizzle. On Monday night, I became his latest victim/enabler. That where the funny part begins.

It was my evening speech class, which goes from 8:30 to 9:45. Last day of persuasive speeches, and only two to go. We had just finished with the first one, and the second person to go walked to the front of the room. As the arrived, a figure in a blue robe burst into the room. He was dressed as pro wrestler Ric Flair (or at least that's what he was supposed to look like). And then there came Brandon with his new HD video camera (his baby), filming the whole thing. Adam (Ric) then proceeded with some wrestling style shit-talking, calling out yours truly, to come and try to take his championship belt. He then in invited the ladies, with a swivel of said belt and pelvis, to come "take a ride on space mountain." I, of course, was unable to wrestle him for the belt. In fact, I was unable to do a whole lot more than laugh my ass off. I'd been warned, some months before that something like this was to happen. Later, when I called Brandon, he informed me that he had been working on it for seven months, and that it was, in fact, the most expensive and time-consuming shot in the three prank films.

In the end, another student, dressed as a referee, burst in, and eventually, with the help of yet another merry prankster, dragged to belligerent Flair-wannabe from my classroom.

In the aftermath, the student whose turn it was to speak said, simply, "Well, how do I follow that?"

I laughed, and observed to the audience, "See how exciting it is to be a professor?"

So, okay, a prank. Funny story, but what the hell else is there to say about it. Just this: The greatest opportunities for teaching emerge from the development of personal relationships with ones students. If a teacher is able to have some sort of relationship with a student, one more or less unencumbered by the apparatus of discipline, grading, and the other barriers imposed by the student-teacher relationship, then maybe something good can occur. There is opportunity, and there is danger.

There is opportunity, in that a teacher can take the time necessary to do some quality teaching, though not so much as a series of lectures, assignments, and so forth. More like you get a chance to share the lessons of life, combined with your theoretical, methodological and other approaches to the world. The result, is a healthier teaching encounter on a lot of levels, because you are able to encounter each other as people, not as your classroom roles. The teaching can go both ways. I, for example, learn a lot about music and video production from my ongoing relationship with Brandon. I even sometimes make Yoda jokes, referring to him as "my young apprentice" or "padawan learner." Occasionally we exchange rough words, banter, letting each other know who is the biggest "beyotch" or whose momma the ugliest or lewdest. It is possible that, over time, we both will learn a lot about each other, and what each of us knows. There are, also, dangers to this kind of relationship.

First of all, there are ethical dilemmas to be navigated. When teachers and students spend time together, the teacher must ultimately understand that he or she is in the power position. If you spend time with students, particularly those who are currently your students, you must be very careful not to let what goes on outside the classroom influence what goes on inside the classroom. Also, when dealing with students, particularly those of the opposite sex, one must avoid even the appearance of impropriety. Everyone has probably heard stories about students and teachers getting too close in one way or another. It can lead to problems with the students themselves, with one's colleagues, with one's institution, and so forth.

Clearly, there are dangers, but I think that most of them can be dealt with pretty easily. You just have to keep in mind that your students are family. They are like sons and daughters, nephews and nieces. As such, there are things that you simply must take for granted in dealing with them. The idea here is the development of a loving relationship, but one based on sharing and trust. Nothing should ever be forced. Nothing should be required. There should not be quid pro quo that crosses contexts in ways that create unreasonable obligations for either party. For example, in my own classroom, I keep a strict separation, conceptually and practically, between the relationships I have with students. It's okay to be familiar, but in the professional context, one must always maintain some professionality. I don't grade my student "friends" any differently than any other student. I don't give them any extra attention or time I wouldn't grant any other student, and so forth.

The payoff is a longterm one, but it must, in my humble opinion, ultimately be for the betterment of one's students rather than oneself. If there is ever a conflict, it should be settled in a way that is ultimately beneficial to the student. A teacher must be willing to give, and to love. There must be, though, a kind of purity to the relationship, a goodness to be maintained and defended selflessly as much as possible. That is not to say that a person can't abandon or withdraw from the relationship if things get weird or if the relationship starts to be destructive for the parties involved. I just mean that it should, in general, based on the principle of giving over receiving.